There is Purpose In Your Pain

I never wanted to be a writer. When I was a little girl I wanted to sing like Whitney Houston and dance like Paula Abdul. Then I was molested by a close friend as we played house in her bedroom. With the weight gain came the bullying, I ate my pain and told God all about it in my diary. By middle school, I wanted to be a lawyer and advocate for the people who could not fight for themselves. The move back to Memphis left me longing for the friends I left behind and vulnerable to another friend who also molested me. Before I could make it to high school I would be molested two more times, yet I still wanted to become the first black female Computer Engineer. But promiscuity and a trail of unhealthy relationships caused me to forgo college in flight from the projects and in pursuit of a better life.

As we get older, as we grow, as we come into our own, as life happens, as experiences teach us who we are, and the strength we never knew we had inside all somehow miraculously transforms us into the person we were always meant to be. But God knew. He knew that the bullying, the molestations, the domestic violence, and the bad relationships, though difficult, would become the platform He used to draw me to Him and bless others. God wooed me and I was intrigued by Him. He spoke to me in my sin, put people in my life to build my trust back in people, and communicated with me like I had never known or heard of. When I rededicated my life back to Christ, I didn’t know how to pray, so I reverted back to writing letters to Him like I did as a child. God began to speak to me and I wrote down every word. As our relationship grew and I trusted Him more, He began to expose the issues of my heart, and led me on a journey of healing and discovering my purpose. I document this journey in my first two books “Stop Asking Why Are You Single” and “Saved, Single, and Frustrated.

Despite what happened, what didn’t happen, or what we hoped would happen regarding our past or present. The love of God tells us that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. No matter what obstacles we face now, God is the answer and has the answer. We have the power to change every area of our lives. Though we can’t physically change the past, we can change how it affects our present, if we give it to God. Romans 8:28 states “And I know that all things work together for the good to those who are the called according to His purpose.” The only way the past can work for our good is if we surrender, hand those broken pieces to God, and submit to the process.